Working therapeutically means paying attention not only to what someone says they want, but to every part of them, including the parts that resist. Resistance is a part with a reason, so it is heard and respected, never barged past. The person stays in charge of their own healing and its meaning, and the practitioner’s role is to empower, never to take power away.
What does it mean to work with process and parts? #
To notice that a person is more than the part that is speaking. In the psychotherapist Arnold Mindell‘s terms, what a client is aware of and identifies with is the ‘primary process’, whereas “The parts of the client that they are not consciously aware of are referred to as the ‘secondary process’.”1 Those hidden parts reveal themselves “in things like body-language, tone of voice, unconscious choice of words, contradictions in what they are saying, and so forth.”2
“The secondary process is called ‘secondary’ not because it is less important. Not at all. It is important to the point that nothing will really change until its concerns are addressed.”3 See What is the inner tribe?
How do hidden parts show themselves? #
Often in small things. Someone might say “I probably do need to open up more”. The word ‘probably’ would leap out at a practitioner who heard it, as it may well signal the presence of a secondary process.4 It may also show in tone of voice or body language. Noticing these signs is part of the practitioner’s skill.
Why should resistance be respected in soul retrieval? #
Because it is there for a reason, and it will win. Paul Francis has many times seen shamanic practitioners ignore a client’s resistance and just barge past it. But resistance needs to be respected and honoured. It is there for a reason, after all. Plus, in the end, people only change when they are good and ready, and that is fine.5
With soul retrieval the resisting part is usually the fort-holder, and “no deep or permanent change happens without the fort-holderFort-holder. A protective part of the self that stayed behind to ‘man the fort’ when we were wounded: the inner critic, perfectionist, pusher, pleaser: the loyal soldier still fighting a war that ended long ago. Usually the part that sent an orphan away, so no deep healing holds without its consent; befriended, never extracted. Read the full answer’s consent. If a fort-holder part is resistant, then they are implacable.”6 Ignoring it does not make it go away: with extractionExtraction. Drawing a foreign body (an intrusion) out of a person and packing the hole with something healthy. The iron rule: only ever foreign bodies, never a part of the self: extracting a genuine part of self creates soul-loss. More about this done anyway, “the secondary process will just put everything back to how it was before.”7 See How does soul retrieval work?
What is self-compassion in parts work? #
Treating every part of ourselves with the kindness we would show anyone hurting. Meeting the fort-holder parts, listening to them with kindness and thanking them can go a very long way in helping heal them, because “each part-of-self needs to feel that it is listened to, respected and understood.”8
Self-compassion is also where loving-kindness practice begins. “The heart of the practice is to start with showing yourself loving kindness first.”9
What does it mean to “hold the locus of evaluation with the client”? #
That the person, not the practitioner, decides what their experience means. “As Carl Rogers, the founder of counselling, used to say, the locus (pivotal-point) of evaluation should be with the client, and not with the therapist.” Imposing meanings is “to have the power-dynamics all wrong.”10 “The true meaning of anything (or anything that happened in a journey) is what it means to the client!”11
Why do power dynamics matter? #
Because healing can empower or disempower. This is a matter of ethics: “So, in Therapeutic Shamanism, when doing any kind of healing work for anyone else, the aim is always to seek to help empower the other person, and never to disempower them.”12 “Modern psychotherapy is very aware of issues concerning the power dynamics between therapists and clients”, and this is something shamanism can learn from it.13
What are the core conditions in parts-of-self work? #
The phrase is Carl Rogers‘s. His person-centred approach “puts the client in charge of the sessions, with the therapist acting as a compassionate and attentive facilitator, listening without judgement and with empathy.”14 “The therapist is the expert in creating an environment for the client to grow in. But the client is the expert in terms of what they want to grow into.”15 The therapist does not analyse, interpret or advise.
Rogers named three core conditions: empathy, genuineness and non-judgementalness. If a therapist creates those, so that people feel listened to and respected and that they can trust them, “what that does is it helps people to listen to themselves, respect themselves, and trust themselves more.”
Therapeutic Shamanism maps these onto the five elements, with a fifth added: “the core conditions for growth. Earth – clear boundaries, safety and stability. Water – empathy. Fire – congruence, genuineness, and clear communication. Air – not judging, but valuing (and actively doing so). Ether – compassionate and kind mindful attention.” And “if growth does happen, these are the conditions that allow it.” See What is Therapeutic Shamanism?
What does “the body never lies” mean? #
That the body tells the truth when the head makes up stories. The body always knows the truth. As Bessel van der Kolk says, “the body keeps the score”, and as Wilhelm Reich, founder of body-centred psychotherapy, says, “the body never lies.” “The body, however, is incapable of making up stories. It is always authentic and is always trying to tell us the truth.” This is why a practitioner watches the body as well as listening to the words.
What is the relationship between body and grounding? #
Being grounded means being in the body. The two go together. “Many people these days are barely in their bodies at all, but ungrounded and living in their heads”, yet “Our bodies are a conscious part of us; a part of us that has its own wisdom and intelligence.”16 The first quality of a true Adult is that someone “Is grounded, present, and embodied.”17 And “GroundingGrounding. Returning fully into the body and physical reality; the bedrock of safe practice, and how every journey ends. More about this is the bedrock of shamanic practice”.18
What does the client do in shamanic healing? #
They stay in charge of their own healing. The client gives consent, and decides what to work on: “It is the client’s session, and it is up to them to decide what we work on; it is not for me to impose my agenda onto the client.”19 Afterwards they hear what happened and decide what it means for them, because “It is the client’s healing, not yours.”20 And they live through the changes that follow. See What is shamanic healing?
