A returned soul partSoul-part. A small-s, middle-world part of the self that can be lost (sent away) and can be retrieved. Not the capital-S Soul. Read the full answer has to be welcomed, listened to, protected and made part of everyday life, and the part of us that sent it away has to adjust to having it back. This settling-in is called integration, and paying attention to it, and to the fort-holderFort-holder. A protective part of the self that stayed behind to ‘man the fort’ when we were wounded: the inner critic, perfectionist, pusher, pleaser: the loyal soldier still fighting a war that ended long ago. Usually the part that sent an orphan away, so no deep healing holds without its consent; befriended, never extracted. Read the full answer, makes the work deeper and longer-lasting. That is why modern soul retrieval is a process rather than a single event.
Can a soul part be brought back immediately? #
Traditionally, yes. Things were simpler then. In hunter-gatherer cultures, once a lost part was returned, “After a short period of time, the returned soul part would be integrated back into the person, and the matter would be resolved.”1 Today that is rarely enough: “These days, it is often not enough to retrieve the lost soul part for a person and to blow it back into them.”2 A part often needs healing before it can settle: “usually some healing has to be done before a returned soul part can be fully integrated back into the person”.3
What happens after a soul part is brought back? #
It needs to be welcomed into everyday life. The returned soul part needs to be welcomed, listened to, protected and integrated into everyday life. A soul part does not return to be hidden again; the person may need to change old patterns and make space for what has come back.
The fort-holder has to adjust too. “Once the soul retrieval has been done, there is also a time of integration to be managed, as the fort-holder adjusts to the soul part being back, and the changes this involves.”4 That involves “our stepping into being more adult and taking charge”, with the fort-holder becoming the Adult’s bodyguard rather than the one in charge.5
Who looks after a returned part? #
The person’s own Adult. A returned part is often a younger part, and “Your wounded inner-child needs your Adult to arrive and parent it.”6 Help is available from the other Peoples too. In journeys, for example, we may learn “that Ivy is useful for binding recently returned soul parts back into the body.”7 See What is the Adult and what does healthy inner leadership look like?
What happens if the fort-holder and integration are not attended to? #
The retrieval is less effective. When the hidden resistance of the fort-holder is ignored, “any soul retrieval is likely only to be partially effective.” The practitioner may see some benefits and think it worked, but “if the resistance had been acknowledged and addressed, the soul retrieval could have been much more effective still, and much longer and deeper acting.”8 Taking time over negotiation and integration “means that the work will be much deeper and longer-lasting than it would otherwise have been.”9
Can soul retrieval help after bereavement? #
Yes, alongside grieving, not in place of it. Bereavement and heartbreak are classic causes of soul lossSoul-loss. The sending-away of parts of the self in order to survive: through shock or trauma, or (the chief modern cause) exiling our own parts to fit in. With Power-loss, one of the two root causes of shamanic illness. Read the full answer: amongst hunter-gatherers, “the principal causes of soul loss usually would have been things like bereavement (or other causes of broken heartedness), illness, or shock and trauma.”10 In one example, a practitioner wrongly tried to remove a grieving woman’s grief, whereas “grief often involves soul-loss, and so doing a soul retrieval would have probably been appropriate.”11
Grief itself is not something to be taken away. “The grief itself is not a foreign body though, but a natural part of the psyche, and a process that needs to be gone through in order for the person to be healed.”12
What helps after a relationship ends? #
Disentanglement. When we are entangled with someone, each holds part of the other: “Each person in an entanglementEntanglement. An unhealthy energetic tie hooking us into another person, a role, an object or a family story; released by disentanglement. More about this is, in effect, carrying part of the other person around with them. This effectively is a mutual soul-loss.”13 DisentanglementDisentanglement. The ceremonial practice that unbinds unhealthy energetic ties to a person, role, object or story: a fourfold exchange in which each party gives back and takes back what they hold of the other. Not ‘cord-cutting’: done well it usually deepens the relationship, because what is unbound is the unhealthy aspect, not the love. More about this gives back what is theirs and takes back what is ours. “Any entanglement that is no longer serving you can be disentangled. Ex-partners, friendships that you want to end, ex-work colleagues.”14
It only works when you are ready. “If you are still seething about something, or want to give whoever it is a piece of your mind or demand that they apologise to you, then you are still too caught up in the drama and stories for the practice to work.”15
