In Therapeutic Shamanism an Elder is not simply an old person. An Elder is someone who first became a true Adult, and who later stepped back from making the decisions into an advisory and supportive role: “Adults decide, elders advise.” In hunter-gatherer tribes the Elders were the wisdom-keepers, the people who most embodied Soul, and today, in a culture with few true Adults, true Elders are rarer still.
What does “Elder” mean in Therapeutic Shamanism? #
In everyday English an elder is simply an older person, or someone who holds a particular office in a church or community. Many indigenous peoples also use Elder as a title of respect for older people who carry their culture’s knowledge. Therapeutic Shamanism uses the word, with a capital E, for something more specific, a stage of human maturity that comes after true Adulthood, and that cannot be reached without it. The capital letter does the same work as in Adult and adult. An adult is someone of adult years; an Adult is someone who has grown into their Soul and taken their place in the web of life. An elder is someone old; an Elder is someone who has gone on maturing from there. See What does it mean to become a True Adult?
Does getting old make someone an Elder? #
No. “In our culture, it is often said that we should respect our ‘elders and betters’. However, true Eldership is not something that comes automatically with age (and nor does being ‘better’, either). Physical age no more makes one an Elder than it makes an adult an Adult.” Because so few people in our culture ever become Adults, “most elders in our culture are still children in adult bodies.”1
Nor are Elders the powerful matriarchs and patriarchs who hold sway over a family or community, or the ‘pillars of society’ who demand respect and are often given it. That way of holding power comes “from a Taker cult power-over perspective”, and it is not what hunter-gatherer Elders would have been like.2 See What are Taker and Leaver cultures?
What did Elders do in a hunter-gatherer tribe? #
They advised, supported and kept the tribe steady. In hunter-gatherer communities it was the Adults who made the important decisions for the tribe, through discussion and consensus. “An Elder is someone who once held that Adult role, but who has come to the point in their life where they have stepped back into an advisory and supportive role, instead.”3 Alongside the shaman, it was the Elders’ role to be the wisdom-keepers and to guide the tribe, holding on to hard-won understanding such as the danger of letting anyone dominate.4
The same pattern runs through a healthy family. “Adults decide, elders advise. Child, adult and elder are three different roles and stages in life.” Grandparents step back and stand behind the parents, supporting them; when a grandparent interferes with the parenting instead, the parents are undermined and the whole family suffers.5 See What do tribe and belonging mean, and what is the shaman’s role in a community?
Where does an Elder’s wisdom come from? #
From years of living from Soul. The Elders were “truly wiser as a result of the years they had spent letting their authentic Soul, and the healthy Story of what it is to be Human, shape their middle-worldMiddle-world. Ordinary physical reality together with its energetic layers: the realm of individuality, separation and mixed intentions, and the only realm where harm is possible. “If there is a hell, then it is the middle-world.” Read the full answer selves.” Wisdom here is not cleverness or a store of facts. It is what grows in a person who has let their Lower-WorldLower-World. The realm of Mother Earth: pure, unspoilt, wild nature, with no technology and no agriculture. Home of the Peoples and of our own Soul, and completely safe: feeling threatened in a journey is a reliable sign of not having reached it. Read the full answer Soul reshape them for long enough. “More than anyone else in the tribe, the Elders embodied Soul, and not just their personal Soul, but the larger Human OversoulOversoul. A branch of Mother Earth representing the whole of a species: the single being all the individuals arise from. Lower-World work is always with the Oversoul, never an individual; environments are composite Oversouls, wheels within wheels. More about this, too. They were the people least caught up in the middle-world; the ‘wisdom-keepers’ who most understood what it is to be truly Human, as Mother EarthMother Earth. The sacred Feminine pole: pure potential, from whom all the Peoples arise. The Lower-World is her realm, and she is all the realms: “The Earth is indeed our Mother.” More about this intended us to be.”6 See What are Soul, Spirit, the middle-world self and the body?
What are the qualities of a true Elder? #
There are thirty-two in the list Therapeutic Shamanism works with, drawn from observing Elders in middle-world life and in the Lower-World Tribe, and from anthropology and psychotherapy. Like the list of the qualities of an Adult, it has been tested and refined in training groups over the years, and is offered as suggestions, a work in progress, not a set of rules.7
The list begins with someone who “Seeks to empower other people” and “Supports the Adults in a Tribe”. A true Elder is concerned about the children and the generations to come, is still active in their community, and is “still learning and fascinated with life.” They know how to listen, and “when to speak out, and when to hold their tongue.” They do not get drawn into the drama triangle, and can show healthy detachment when younger people are caught up in egos and emotions. They are respected and respect others, are largely at peace with themselves and their history, can admit to the mistakes of their earlier years, and are no longer seeking to rise in authority or status. They are willing to face their own mortality, are grounded, calm and unflappable, and have a sense of humour and a sense of hope. The list ends with someone who “Has presence, dignity and grace.”8
Why are true Elders so rare today? #
Because you cannot become an Elder without first becoming an Adult, and our culture no longer has the initiations that made Adults. Eldership is the next stage on from Adulthood, so a culture made up largely of children in adult-sized bodies will grow old without growing into Elders. Real Elders are “vanishingly rare these days, and our communities desperately need them back.”9 An actual Elder is “something else that is all too rare, and sorely needed, today too.” See What is a rite of passage, and what did we lose when initiation disappeared?
What is it like to be with an Elder? #
Calming. “There is something about just being in the company of Elders that is in itself comforting and healing. People often report that being around Elders makes them feel calmer and more grounded, less anxious, more at ease, more optimistic and hopeful.” In hunter-gatherer times, being in the presence of safe and wise Elders was part of daily life. These days, for most people, true Elders are scarce or absent altogether.10
Can we meet Elders in the Lower-World? #
Yes. The Lower-World Tribe has its Elders, sometimes as Grandfathers and Grandmothers with their own practices and knowledge, and once you know your Lower-World Tribe you can spend time with them whenever you want. Their company is a respite from the modern human middle-world, and a safe place to convalesce and heal. Finding Your Deep Soul has a journey for introducing yourself to the Elders, and in it how you identify your gender in the middle-world does not decide whom you visit. You can ask them for healing, or simply be with them, because one of the big qualities of the Elders is ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’, and sitting quietly in their presence can be healing in its own right.11 See What are Human Guides?
How can we grow towards Eldership? #
By becoming an Adult first, and then letting the Elder qualities shape us as we age. Spending time with the Lower-World Elders makes it more likely that we will become Elders ourselves as we grow older: that in the last third of life we can feel free of the pull of the drama triangleDrama triangle. The persecutor–rescuer–victim pattern; the poison of unhealthy groups. More about this, not attached to others’ opinions, no longer seeking authority or status, and at peace with ourselves and our history. A template also gives us something to aim for, so that, as we grow old, we can begin to embody Eldership in the world.12
