In Therapeutic Shamanism an Adult, with a capital A, is not simply a grown-up with a job and a mortgage, but a person rooted in their Soul and living as an interconnected member of the web of life. Healthy inner leadership means our Adult is in charge of our inner tribeInner Tribe. The community of parts-of-self that a human being actually is. Health is not one part’s triumph but a well-run tribe: every member honoured, every member doing its proper job, the Adult in charge. Read the full answer: our child parts are cared for but no longer running things, and our protective fort-holderFort-holder. A protective part of the self that stayed behind to ‘man the fort’ when we were wounded: the inner critic, perfectionist, pusher, pleaser: the loyal soldier still fighting a war that ended long ago. Usually the part that sent an orphan away, so no deep healing holds without its consent; befriended, never extracted. Read the full answer steps back to become the Adult’s bodyguard. Real Adults are rare, so this is something we grow into, never alone.
What is the Adult part? #
An Adult is a person grown into their Soul. That is not the usual idea: “What we think of as being adult are “grown-up” things such as getting a job, “settling down”, having a mortgage, and so on.” Those have nothing to do with being an Adult, “for our Adult Soul is of the Lower-WorldLower-World. The realm of Mother Earth: pure, unspoilt, wild nature, with no technology and no agriculture. Home of the Peoples and of our own Soul, and completely safe: feeling threatened in a journey is a reliable sign of not having reached it. Read the full answer.”1 Finding your Soul “is an initiation into Adulthood. It is about stepping into being your authentic, Adult self.”2
Why are real Adults so rare? #
Because our culture no longer makes them. Hunter-gatherers held initiations that “were designed to dismantle the middle-worldMiddle-world. Ordinary physical reality together with its energetic layers: the realm of individuality, separation and mixed intentions, and the only realm where harm is possible. “If there is a hell, then it is the middle-world.” Read the full answer identity that someone had constructed in their childhood, and replace it instead with a new identity. An identity rooted in their Soul”.3 Without that, “we live in a society not of Adults but of adults; a society of children in adult-sized bodies.”4 In modern times, most ‘grown-up’ people are effectively still children, or functioning adolescents at best.
Is being an Adult about being independent? #
No, the opposite. “Most people these days tend to think of adulthood as being about things like “standing on your own two feet” and being “independent””, but “In an animist tribe, being Adult was about interdependence, not independence.”5 The qualities of an Adult “describe not an individual, but a role within a community”. A healthy adult is a twig on a branch of a much bigger tree.
What does an Adult look like? #
There is no single picture, but there are clear qualities. Amongst them, a true Adult “Sets and maintains appropriate and healthy personal boundaries” and “Is empathic and compassionate.”6 Boundaries and compassion go together. An Adult also sees things as they are, owns their choices, and does not play the games of blame and rescue: “the drama triangleDrama triangle. The persecutor–rescuer–victim pattern; the poison of unhealthy groups. More about this is a game played by children, not by Adults.”7 In the end, “it is your responsibility to choose to be an Adult in your life.”
What does healthy inner leadership look like? #
The Adult in charge, inside as well as out. In a healthy group “The Adults are the people in charge”, and “This applies not just to healthy outer Tribes, but to our inner-Tribe, too.”8 The wounded child parts are not cast out. “Your wounded inner-child needs your Adult to arrive and parent it”, and then the child parts “become parts-of-self that you can look after and care for, but parts who are no longer in charge.” In fact, “your wounded inner-child should really be an outer-child.”
What goes wrong when a child part is in charge? #
We live our childhood patterns as adults. Old fears run present-day life. Many people are “unconsciously playing out childhood patterns in their “adult” lives; effectively children in adult bodies.”9 Take someone anxious about a work meeting who realises the anxious part is their five-year-old self. The obvious question is “why on earth they are thinking of sending their five-year-old child-part to work next week?”10 When the adult part goes instead, the anxiety often eases or disappears.
What about the fort-holder? #
It hands over to the Adult, if the Adult turns up. The fort-holder is a loyal protective part formed in childhood, and “they are also a child part”. Healing means the fort-holder “stepping back and becoming the ‘body-guard’ of the adult person in charge”, which is “kind of like the sergeant handing control over to a commanding officer, once (or, if!) a commanding officer actually turns up.”11 See What are child, Orphan, fort-holder and protector parts?
Why does the Adult need Champions? #
Because a true Adult never stands alone. The books do not name Champions as such, but the Adult has allies. With an anxious student, Paul Francis might “suggest that they sense their Power AnimalPower Animal. The Oversoul of a wild species, met as a single Lower-World being and bonded with in a deep, committed, usually lifelong soul-bond of unconditional love. The practitioner’s first and foremost Guide: Panther, not “my panther”. Read the full answer by their side too, because, remember, a true Adult is not an independent being but an interconnected being.”12 The Power Animal “will also guide you, teach you, and protect you.”13 The Adult leads with its Power Animal beside it.
How is an Adult different from an Elder? #
An ElderElder (True Elder). The rarer stage beyond Adulthood. Adults decide; Elders advise. More about this is an Adult who has stepped back. “An Elder is someone who once held that Adult role, but who has come to the point in their life where they have stepped back into an advisory and supportive role, instead.” In short, “Adults decide and Elders advise.”14 Age alone makes neither.
What is the purpose of parts-of-self work? #
A healthy inner tribe led by an Adult. Parts work helps us notice which part is speaking, care for the ones that are hurting, and let the Adult lead. When this happens, “Every part has a voice, every part can be what it is meant to be.”15 Psychotherapy helps here too: “the therapist modelling Adult compassion and support to the wounded parts, so that the client’s own Adult can develop and take over.”16
